I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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