Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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