A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
