If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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