Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
