I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You ruined the universe
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
