I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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