I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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