I'm drive I can fine osifer
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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