the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
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He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
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Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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