His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
