Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
