Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize