who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
