how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
why is half of my head shaved?
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