I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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