I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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