I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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