Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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