I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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