She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Two words: nipple clamps
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