I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
