i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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