the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
