yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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