you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I skipped work to stalk him.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
