I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
