so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
