I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
