saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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