So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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