Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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