who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
