I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize