i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
only you would photoshop your dick
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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