we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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