You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
