I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
