guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
