if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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