but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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