try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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