I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
