so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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