so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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