I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We have started to decorate penises.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
