Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
