Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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