I will die if light touches me.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
