I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
