why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
