Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
