Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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