we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
