so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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