After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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