Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
